Follow Me

if you follow me on twitter I’ll show you how to make all the bitter-corns you’ll ever need,

and if you follow me on instagram, you’ll see all the success I’ve built around me with images of gorgeous sunsets and bikini clad women I have to pay to be around me for more than ten minutes,

and if you follow me on youtube, you can watch tutorials on how to fix the plumbing on your gold-plated toilet,

and if you follow me on reddit, we can go down the rabbit hole of some of the weirdest conspiracy theories known to man,

though probably don’t follow me on onlyfans, because I’m not great at making it sexy, but you’ll still see me give it the college try,

maybe follow me on tinder, I mean, it’s at least worth one or two swipes, I’d like to think,

or follow me on facebook, I think that is still a thing,

but if you’re desparate, and you don’t see my online presence,

then follow me in real life, just stay back and don’t approach me,

I’m not sure if I want the attention