self-reflection | Fred Aiken Writing

Tag: self-reflection

for me these trees, roots withering
they are breezes blowing over graves, i am
whirled, surging down bark-tinder air

through sunlit windows, snatched up and out again–
listen! down the stars i ran, to pluck down the real moon

Yes: there may be a drowsy innocence that is never again.

—

a lonely spirit grows in a sorrowful place,
it drags across the one who should care most.
witnessing the unhappiness, witnessing no face bright;

growing up unhanded and without care
it closed its arms around the ache, the bone, the bare, but never stopped hurting

weeping when there was joy and yet it was wrong to cause tears,

The spirit has grown so numb with its silence.

I received my empathy on loan from the bank,

took out a second mortgage and everything,

though I can’t pay it back

can’t seem to understand why creditors keep calling

to tell me I owe them my emotions,

I owe them the core of my self

plus interest,

so they say liquidate all my assets,

cleanse myself of all that holds me from my goals or dreams

or dreaming goals,

I’m not sure,

but remove the lien on my self, to selfish needs crossed out

of contracts typed in bland office chairs

with poor lumbar support as they squeak out

what I should do, who shall I be, determining what I can feel

from the midsummer mist to the ecstasy of an aubergrine kiss

peppered in light made on a spectrum missing

in the backwoods of another think tank made of aluminum

while sitting on the think hill of forests no one goes to

because it’s a forest and I no longer pay attention to what’s outside,

dripping,

leaking

moments as an escape from the impending doom of debt collection of the self

too soon

Fred Aiken Writing