Fred Aiken Writing

Tag: HOA

hoa request

the hoa told m e i needed to do 
some y a r d work, clean up my property,
in a verbose email sent to me repeatedly every third thursday of the month;
and so i responded that because i paid them a monthly due each month
that i’d either the h o a would need to do the yard work for me,
or i was requesting a refund,
which is why i’m here today,
requesting you not foreclose on my property
just because of this hoa issue i’ve been having

Joan Miró Made Me Do It

abstract art makes me want to tear off my clothes and scream maniacally

in the streets

as my wife yells at me to. come. back. inside

I’ll catch a cold, or even worse, embarrass her,

what will the neighbors think, how much will they jack up our HOA fees just so we’ll move out,

because I’m certain that there’s a bylaw somewhere that says they don’t like naked screaming over the excitement of

a (insert) Joan Miró painting