my back hurts,
i am 35,
i’m tired,
i’m 35,
i’m overweight,
i’m 35,
it’s not that old,
but it’s not 25,
i need to go to bed at a decent hour,
i’m 35,
i have to go to work tomorrow,
i’m 35,
i probably need to schedule my next doctor’s appointment,
i’m 35,
i look up when i need to get a colonoscopy,
i’m not that old,
i’m 35,
35
35
i forgot to do my daily calisthenics this morning,
when i stretch and do a few jumping jacks and squats so that my body knows
that it’s awake and hopefully won’t feel as old and creaky as my mind does sometimes,
like now, right at this very second, i feel the oldest i’ve ever been,
because i guess i am
when i gained a lot of weight in my twenties
i started seeing a whole bunch of internet ads
for various diets and pills and other such methods to tap into becoming my one true self, or some such self-help-guru nonsense,
i’m not entirely sure what all they said,
since, despite being overweight, a tad bit unhealthy, i don’t pay super close attention to ads,
i’m not their target audience, whoever they are, and in the grand game of who it is that’s choosing which ads to show me, i don’t think i’m smart enough to figure out that mystery, or maybe not motivated enough? possibly,
but i did join a gym
when i hit my thirties
since/i/assumed/that’s/what/you/do/when/you/get/older/and/start/having/extra/disposable/income/and/time/that/i/can/spend/how/i/like/to/but/why/i/chose/to/spend/that/time/at/the/gym/is/anyone’s/guess/and/i/don’t/think/in/my/34/years/that/anyone/has/called/me/anyone/yet
Fred Aiken Writing 