Fred Aiken Writing

May 17, 2024

lost education//memory fatigue

i keep telling myself that everything i read
makes me a little more educated,
but if you were to ask me, or quiz me,
on what i read last year,
or even last week,
there’s a chance i wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly what
was happening in the book or article,
maybe a few keep points, you know, the broad strokes of it all,
but i’m not one of those types of people that can memorize lines and lines
of books to quote at sophisticated dinner parties that serve
red wine with spinach quiches,
rather i’m the type of person that confuses the plot
of catch-22 with that of the kandy-kolored tangerine-flake streamline baby,
but not in a charming sort of way
where the transgression can be forgiven because of my lack of memory,
but more so where the guests at the dinner party sort of pity me,
and the rest of the night is spent in awkward silence
before the rest of the guests collect their designer coats and bags
made from farm animals that sound nothing like the cartoons as they’re being slaughtered,
and everyone goes home a little sad and disappointed,
but not me, since, as my wife points out afterward,
i’m too damn ignorant for my own damn good
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May 16, 2024

not so fast

“Watch where you’re going?” she said. 

But I did. I always do. I could have sworn I knew exactly where I was going. At least, I thought I did. At least, I could have told you with absolute certainty that I was going to the front desk because they had my possessions. Posthaste. Don’t ask me why the front desk had all my belongings. It’s a long story.

But this woman, this-this-this enchantress, this siren, this goddess of vapor, appeared out of nowhere. Like literally nowhere. I don’t know how it was physically possible. And I’m pretty sure in order to run into me she had to have broken a few laws of physics. 

“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Well, I was.”

“Which is why I apologized.”

Despite her good looks, she snarled. She wore an expression that’s typically reserved for comic book villains. This is not the story of how I fell in love at first sight. For one, that’s just not a thing. But also, this stranger that appeared out of nowhere and who I accidentally bumped into on my quest to retrieve my belongings from the front desk had the look of a woman that had just committed murder on her face and she wanted nothing to do with the rest of society at the moment.

“Yes, well, keep it moving. I don’t want to keep you from bowling over other helpless women.”

“I feel like you’re being a bit hyperbolic. It was an accident…”

“And what? Are you one of those desperate creeps that needs people to accept their apologies before they run along with the rest of their day?”

“No, but I certainly won’t be talked down to like this.” I know I’m being sucked into a confrontation. It’s a confrontation that I don’t want to be a part of. I have things to do, as they say. People to meet, palms to grease, and old ladies to fleece. None of which is an actual saying, but an uncle used to say that to me all the time, and it just sort of stuck around in my head.

For a brief moment, I check my pockets and realize that my wallet, phone and keys are all missing. For a brief moment that was longer than I care to admit, I forgot that I was heading to the front desk to collect them and thought that the enchantress standing before me, the one trying to goad me into a fight, might have swiped them from me. Before I can come to my senses, though, I accuse her of taking my things. I accused her of being a pickpocket. 

“A pickpocket? You think I nicked your crap? What could you possibly have that I would want.”

“A car. A little bit of money—”

“All of which I have no need for.”

“Then I don’t know, maybe you took them just for the kicks. I know some people just take things that aren’t theirs for the adrenaline rush.”

“An adrenaline rush?”

“This whole process will go a lot quicker if you just confess rather than just repeat everything I say to you.”

“Well, I can assure you that I am in no need for an adrenaline rush. I would need a functioning brain and heart to feel an adrenaline rush.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m dead. I’m saying that I’m not of the living.”

“But that’s not possible.”

“And yet, here I am.”

“But I just ran into you.”

“So you admit it!”

“That was never in question. Of course I did. I apologized for it.”

“Say that you did it on purpose.”

“But I didn’t.”

“But I know that you did. Remember? I’m dead, I can read your thoughts.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing. I don’t think dead people suddenly take on the power of telekinesis.”

“Well, no, but you’re thinking of telepathy. Telekinesis is when you can move objects with your mind. But because I’m dead and thus not a physical entity on this plane of dimension, moving physical objects isn’t really something I’m concerned with doing.”

“Now you’re explaining being dead to me? Will your affronts never end!?”

“I’m sorry. I feel as if we got off on the wrong foot.”

“I’d say.”

“My name is Hubert. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“The name’s Ida. I’d say the same, but I think we’ve already met.”

“We have?”

“Yes. I guess you don’t remember. I suppose people not only live differently, but they die differently too. You and I were in a car accident. A terrible car accident.”

“That’s horrible.”

“Indeed. Unfortunately, there were no survivors.”

“I suppose there weren’t. Would you…? I’m sorry if this is a bit too forward, but would you like to go get a cup of coffee?”

Hubert and Ida floated along to the nearest cafe. Neither of them said a word the remainder of the night. Hubert acquainted himself with his afterlife, but for some reason he couldn’t remember any of his life. While Ida could think of nothing else.

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May 15, 2024

Follow Something or Rather

Daily writing prompt
Are you a leader or a follower?
View all responses

I suppose this depends on one’s definition of leaders and followers. From what I’ve read and come to understand, I’m not entirely convinced that there is such a thing. I mean, sure, there’s certainly a pragmatic difference between a CEO of a company and the people that stock the shelves or flip the burgers. Each role serves a purpose in the organization, the latter more important than the former, since there are plenty of instances in which a company goes without a CEO or sometimes an entire C-suite for weeks or months, but the moment the “essential” workers are taken out of the equation, either because of a strike or illness or interruption to a store’s ability to function, the business crumples. It just happens that most companies, and society at large, does not pay people based on their importance within a company, but rather how far removed they are from actual, well, work.

So I guess I would argue more so that society isn’t organized around the concept of leaders and followers, but more so around authority and subordination. Of which, everyone exhibits characteristics of both, it’s just some more than others.

I have authority over my person, and the actions and thoughts that I do and think. But I would not classify myself as someone that has, or wants (for that matter), the authority over any other person. I have authority over all the things that I do on a daily basis, along with actions and consequences that affect my future self as well. Whether those actions affect others, well, I suppose that’s conditional.

Whether or not I do a good or bad job at work will affect my coworkers and customers, as does my coworkers ability or inability to do their job affects my job. So, in a work setting, I’d say there’s always a counterplay of authority and subordination at play in everything we do. Even someone that works by themselves, such as a writer or painter or photographer, have the authority and ability to affect their own work, and as such it affects those that look and/or consume their various forms of media.

I think this dynamic can probably be applied to many different organizations and interpersonal relationships, from the romantic to platonic to anything and everything between. I think the idea of there being leaders and followers is a myth we tell each other, but usually it’s just individuals with varying degrees of confidence at a particular thing. For example, a lot of people see the president of any country as the ultimate leader within that country, but when it’s closely examined, various countries’ presidents are representative figureheads with authority over specific functions within their government that can, and usually do, affect huge chunks of their population. And sure, we assign the moniker of leader and leadership to presidents of countries and companies, but outside of their various functions and responsibilities to their role, they don’t have all that much authority outside of what society and the people they represent give them.

Those that hold various titles and roles that seem important are given the assumption that they are leaders, but ultimately they, as with everyone, is subordinate to someone or something other than themselves. Even sovereign citizens and their whacky and crazy ways. They answer to an authority that both not fully in their control, yet still affected and influenced by them too. I find that there always tends to be a dichotomy of motion playing between how we perceive authority and how we perceive subordination, and it’s sometimes easy to throw around titles like leader and follower, but at the end of the day, those ideas seem kinda antiquated and too narrow in scope to fully define the dynamics of relationships people form.

Granted, I’m also open to the idea that this is just my convoluted way of skirting around the possibility that I’m more of a follower than a leader as defined by most people, probably because, while generally it’s agreed upon that leaders and followers are both necessary for a functioning and healthy society, it’s typically agreed by general consensus that being a leader is better and good, whereas being a follower tends to be looked down on. This is probably why, as I mentioned at the beginning of this little diatribe, CEO’s and executives of a company are paid exorbitantly more than the employees beneath them, despite how most companies tend to not really need a CEO outside of just having a figurehead that appears to be making decisions, but really relies on a whole team of assistants, corporate caretakers, and actual workers to babysit the CEO from truly and utterly fucking up the business.

In the end, I hardly think it matters. But personally, I think I’d probably rather live in a world that consistently strives to improve and progress upon how it treats everyone rather than allowing a small fraction of ruthless, probably sociopathic, “leaders” control how and why society organizes itself.

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