Fred Aiken Writing

April 27, 2023

What a Flock of Flamingoes is Called Can Be a Good Conversation Starter

i looked over to my wife during dinner

and realized i didn’t have anything meaningful to say

and feared that she might not love me anymore,

though i would probably never ask her that outright,

in fear that she might lie

so instead i tell her that a flock of flamingoes is called a flamboyance,

which she didn’t believe,

so i pulled up wikipedia and she saw that i was right,

even seeming a little impressed,

and i think i saved my marriage with that fact, for just one more night

April 26, 2023

The Murder that Took Place in an All-Red Room

Detective George Handell stood in the middle of an all-red room staring down at an unidentified man’s body wondering why anyone would kill anyone in an all-red room. Carpet, wallpaper, curtains, desk, couch, knick-knacks, lamp; someone went out of their way to decorate the room entirely in red. 

Have you ever seen anything like this? an officer asked Detective Handell.

No, he responded. No, I haven’t.

It’s quite amazing.

It certainly is. It’s as if someone designed the room specifically so they could murder someone in it.

What do you mean?

You can’t tell who died: him or the room.

April 26, 2023

What it Sometimes Feels Like Thinking Back on Things I Want to Forget

verifiable verses in vertigo

punctuating the melodies made poignant

through a journey, alone in abandoned suburban mountains

used for storage

that still doesn’t seem to have enough room for all

that crap we bought at garage sales

when we were in our twenties

and still couldn’t afford crap from ikea