Fred Aiken Writing

I wanted revenge. But not in a weird way, so don’t think it was weird. Unless you think not washing your hands for the rest of your life so you can get your enemies sick by shaking their hands is somehow weird. In which case, I guess you would be right and it is weird.

It started back when I was in seventh-grade health class. We learned about germs and bacteria, and how every pandemic that ever broke out was the result of one too many bad bacterias mutating from people not washing their hands until those bad bacteria metamorphosed into their secret identities of super big bad bacteria.

Either way, it spawned an idea. 

At the time, I was being mercilessly bullied because of my short stature, my lisp caused by wearing a retainer, the thick Buddy Holly glass I had to wear, and because everything I wore was out of date, out of fashion, and out of luck. 

In essence, I had every reason to be slighted. But I’m no mass shooter. I want the record to be very clear on that. I don’t have it in me to kill someone. At least not directly.

Now, if they were to shake my unwashed hand and get sick, you know, like a common cold or something, then I can live with that. Plus, scientifically speaking, I don’t know if you could for sure blame me entirely for getting my enemies sick. I don’t know how they live their lives. You don’t know, either. Heck, maybe they’re just as gross as I am and haven’t been washing their own damn hands.

Who’s to say?

Maybe we’re all living in a secretly non-so-secret sick world where no one washes their hands properly because they are also wanting to get back at unnamed, unknown tormentors.