Guess How Many

by Fred Aiken

How many pens do you own?

Sounds like an accusatory question.

I dunno. How many pens do you think are in here?

I’m not one to speculate. I’m really not. I consider myself a person of science.

A scientist?

No. Well, not technically. I’m not a scientist.

Then what are you?

Is that your way of asking what I do for a living?

I guess, in so many words. If you’re not a scientist, but you claim to be a person a science, whatever that means…

Not whatever that means. It means something. Something specific, I should have you know.

I’m certain it does.

Certainty will get you killed around here.

Is that a threat?

No, just science.

Are you either going to guess how many pens are in my house or tell me what you do for a living or what?

Why do you have so many pens that it would require me to guess how many are there? That seems like the better question.

That sounds like your question.

Well, I guess it is.

And I’ll tell ya….I’m writing a memoir.

I don’t think you’re old enouhg for that.

I’ve seen things, done thing, been to places. I know stuff.

Don’t we all.

But I know more.

Don’t we wish.

I’m going to going to call my memoir Beware of the Catfish.

I don’t get it.

Someone will….