one of my goals is to mash up as many candy bars as possible,

until I can’t tell where the Butterfinger begins

and the Hersey bar ends,

and then I’m going to wrap it up,

re-brand it,

and sell it

as the Bar of Monsters

with the hope that someone tries it, likes it,

and makes their own copycat version of it with the wrong candies

my cat keeps following me around,

I think she’s planning something,

maybe reporting back to my wife

all the gross things I do when I think I’m alone,

or maybe she thinks I don’t have any friends

and feels like she needs to be my pity friend,

or maybe it’s because I seem to be able to tolerate the smell of her cat poops

so she figured I might be ok after all, I can still stay

in her house