Ironic Immortality

by Fred Aiken

when they eventually invent a way to keep people alive forever

I believe suicides will skyrocket within ten years

once everyone realizes the company they’re left with

is just as bad immortal as they were mortal,

and life isn’t worth living without the threat of death lurking behind a 7-11 bathroom

while clutching on to some carcinogenic, preservative-filled sludge Monster

surging through your veins as it all comes to an end